Have your buddy’s six: Know your role in preventing Veteran suicide

During my service, I was trained to collaborate with my fellow Airmen and have my buddy’s six, ensuring each person’s unique skills contributed to accomplishing the mission. We learned together and worked together, building a strong, united team.

It’s no different now that you’re out. Well, you likely don’t live with someone you served with and you probably don’t work together, either. But you can still count on them, and they can count on you, especially during a tough time, like facing a suicide crisis.

Everyone plays a role in Veteran suicide prevention, and Veterans helping other Veterans is crucial to saving lives.

Identify early signs of struggle

You know your Veteran buddies. Even if you haven’t seen each other in years, that kind of connection lives forever. This closeness may help you better sense if they’re struggling. It might be something as subtle as the tone of their voice or something more obvious, like not texting or calling you back.

And though every Veteran is unique and may show different signs of crisis, there are things you should be aware of and look out for, like these crisis signs (call 911 if there’s an active threat of suicide):

• Thinking about hurting or killing themself.
• Looking for ways to kill themself.
• Talking about death, dying or suicide.
• Self-destructive behavior, such as drug abuse, risky use of weapons, etc.

Warning signs include:

• Appearing sad or depressed most of the time.
• Hopelessness.
• Anxiety, agitation, sleeplessness or mood swings.
• Feeling excessive guilt, shame or sense of failure.
• Rage or anger.
• Engaging in risky activities without thinking.
• Increasing alcohol or drug misuse.
• Losing interest in hobbies, work or school.
• Showing violent behavior, like punching a hole in the wall or getting into fights.
• Giving away prized possessions.

If you or a Veteran you know is experiencing one or more of the warning signs, contact the Veterans Crisis Line to receive 24/7, confidential support. You don’t have to be enrolled in VA benefits or health care to connect. To reach responders, Dial 988 then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/Chat, or text 838255. 

A conversation can help more than you think

Even though you know your buddies well and have been through a lot together, it might still be tough to find the right words when they show warning signs. And you may be afraid you’ll put the idea of suicide into their head. Just talking about suicide won’t give them the idea or increase their risk. Having a frank, direct conversation could give them the opening they’ve been waiting for to really talk about what they’re going through. 

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some ideas to get the conversation going:

• “It sounds like you’re feeling so incredibly (insert appropriate feeling here—trapped, overwhelmed, betrayed, etc.). Sometimes when people feel this way, they think about suicide. Is this something you’re thinking about?”
• “When did you first start feeling like killing yourself?”
• “Did something happen that made you begin to feel like taking your life?”

You can find more tips by reading VA’s How to Start the Conversation handout.

Know which resources are available

If you’re able to connect with your Veteran buddy and they need support, the next step is finding the right resources to help. VA has a range of resources for Veterans based on sex, age, branch or types of challenges they’re facing, including the following:

• Don’t wait. Reach out. helps connect Veterans and their loved ones with resources and support for coping with all kinds of life challenges.
• Make the Connection features real stories of Veterans’ and their family members’ post-service experiences, challenges and recovery, as well as ways to find treatment and support.
• Veterans Service Organizations help Veterans and their families understand and access VA programs and benefits.
• VA’s Office of Suicide Prevention provides all sorts of suicide prevention resources, like information about secure firearm and medication storage, treatment options and tools to help Veterans work on problem-solving, managing their anger, developing parenting skills and more. 

You’re critical to this mission

Your experiences have shaped who you are, and your support can make a lifesaving difference. By listening without judgment and speaking openly about suicide, you help create a stronger, more connected Veteran community. Together, we can make an impact.